Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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