your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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