If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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