pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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