remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
