I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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