hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
