I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
