Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
