so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Randomize
