why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
