Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize