you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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