PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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