i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
