I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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