I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
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That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
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