I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
