p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
