All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
