we're blogging at a bar
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
