i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
