I got chris browned last night
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
