Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
