You can't special order awesome
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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