just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
