I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
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