I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I had to cum in my sink.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize