At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
