Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize
