Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
