He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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