It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
