i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
