At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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