Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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