I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
