sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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