That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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