Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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