We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
We're using joints as your birthday candles
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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