and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Randomize
