I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
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