Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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