I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
dude. I can hear the air.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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