My first STD was from a foam party
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
this hospital has no fireball
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
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