She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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