Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
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