I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
