hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
