My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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