Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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