We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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