so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Boobs speak an international language.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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