in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
