Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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