Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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