I want to stick my p in your. b.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I can't put those talents on a resume
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
