Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
