I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
