So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
