Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
He felt like a one man threesome
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
