Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
