my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
