My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
