shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
me + whiskey = a bad person
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
