Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
